Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. -- Gene Fowler

Friday, April 9, 2010

Hornets, Redux

Earlier this week I talked about the hornets on my porch. I originally wrote both the hornet part and the Muse part in more of an Internet/lolcats format, but as this is a writing journal, I thought I should convert them into a more literary form.

But I wanted to share the original with you, so you can see the difference. If indeed you found the earlier post humourous, is this version funnier?

one hornet: *hovers around the collection of trowels and tools on the garden cart* ooh look a hole i can fit in there *squeezes itself right into a hole that apparently leads to a hollow inside the perhaps cheaply made tool*
Me: Dammit, get out of there.
another hornet: *approaches the screen door leading into my house*
Me: That's a screw holding my door together, dingbat.
hornet: i can fit in there i can fit in there i can fit in there no that's a screw that's a screw that's not a hole
Me: Would you get off my porch please?
hornet: how about this can i fit in there maybe i can go into this crack right here no thats not big enough how about here right over here i can fit in here no i can't fit in there either
Me: I am getting the spray.
hornet: what about this wood what about this wood what about this oh no its sealed ooh look there's a hole i can fit in there
Me: *sprays hornet with bug foam*
hornet: aaaaah poison air stuff ick ick *cough splutter*
Me: That's what I said. Now scoot!
hornet: man that was nasty but ooh, look, a hole. i can fit in there i can fit in there i can fit in there...
Me: *sighs*

And the Muse bit:

Muse: *comes floating in on a wisp of cloud, through your workspace window and alights gently on your shoulder* O writer, I have a fantastic story idea for you!
You: *busy plinking away at the Internet, fails to notice anything's going on*
Muse: *takes a sparkly little thing and attempts to wedge it into your ear canal*
You: *fidgets and frowns, scratching idly at your ear*
Muse: *sighs, taking out Icepick of Ideas and a sledgehammer*

I'm curious as to what you think. Keep clear of the hornets this weekend! But don't use bug spray on your Muse! They don't like it when you do that.

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